Thursday, August 21, 2008

Randomness: Adoption

*Parenting via adoption is no better or worse than parenting via conception. It is just a different way of getting there.

*Choosing to adopt is not settling for something less than. Just because something is second choice does not make it second best.

*Birth parents are not evil people lurking in the shadows, waiting to "take the child back". God has put in me a tremendous amount of respect and compassion for women who make an adoption plan. Not to mention gratitude. My heart truly goes out to them.

*How do you express that plus share yourself in a "Dear Birth Mom" letter? However it's done, I need to figure it out soon.

*Beginning this process has put a whole new meaning to certain areas of scripture. I never really thought about the fact that Moses was pretty much adopted. Ephesians 1 says that God chose us in Him before the foundation of the world and predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus to Himself. I mean... wow.

*Adoption is forever. Once the child is ours, it's ours as if it had come from my own womb. No turning back. The birth parents cannot regain their rights. Adoption is final and forever. God adopted me. No turning back.
Final and forever. Again... wow.

*There is a great possibility that we could become a multi-ethnic family. The idea of embracing, celebrating and incorporating into my daily life an entirely different culture than my own in such a real and tangible way while teaching my child to do the same is something that is very appealing to me.

*Though it also scares me a little, because the world is still cruel.

*But I'm a redhead, and though I'm little, I can take 'em. That will be my kid. Bring it.

*There are 2 million couples waiting to adopt. That's many many more couples than babies being placed.

*Adopting does not a hero make. Although the process is now less villainized than it has been in the past, unfortunately it seems that it has swung to the opposite extreme and is now romanticized. We're no saints. We're just regular people, many of us infertile, lots of us traveling a painful journey with way less highs than lows, who love children and want to raise our own. Our future children do not need to be rescued. They're not "lucky". If anyone is lucky, that would be us. Adopting does not make us heroes. It makes us parents.

*Our interviews are done, and though I'm not a hero, I do feel quit heroic to have completed our part of this leg of the journey. I have never before had to speak to someone so in depth about every aspect of my life, past present and future, all at once. It will be at least a few weeks before the home study is written and approved (it will be around a 20-page document that needs to be approved by multiple people), but once it is, we can legally adopt in the state of Texas. (And we get to sign away our life savings, wooo!)

*Three years ago when we first decided to pursue raising a child, I never imagined we'd be here today. It's not a place I thought we'd be at this point in our lives. Now that we're here, I can't imagine being anywhere else.


Heidi @ GGIP said...

I have to say that it does seem heroic to get through all that paperwork. I wish adoption was easier. I think it would be better for the children too.

Great post!!!!

The Rock Chick said...

This is beautiful, Crystal! I love the little red head part. Bring it, baby!!! You remind me of me. I'm very passive unless someone screws with one of my kids. I can take on anybody then :)

You will make a fabulous mom!!!!

Jen said...

Crystal you will be one awesome mom :)

Bethany said...

Excellent thoughts. I am so happy for you and thrilled for the child who will soon be blessed to be yours. And s/he will be blessed not because s/he's "lucky" to be adopted, but because you guys are going to be such AWESOME parents for any kid to have.

Da Bee's Knees said...

Wonderful! God is good!

Hang on to that tenacity, Crystal!

The Gang's All Here! said...

From a fellow red-head: you got it girl! We are 5.5 days away from leaving for China to adopt our sweet little girl. The whole journey is exciting, scary, intense, and overwhelming. But it's also tender, eye-opening, stretching, and from where I'm sitting (when I should be packing!) WORTH EVERY STINKIN' MINUTE ALONG THE WAY. EVERY. ONE.

This is a beautiful post and I'm so excited to see what God will do. I'm going to book mark you now ;)