T to the B

I had my toxin injection today (sorry, Bethany, not botox). No, I have never had one before. I was home schooled through 8th grade and then went to a very tiny (VERY tiny) Christian school for high school and it was never required. It wasn't even required when I went to college. So I guess I read it wrong and it's not the actual toxin, but an antigen. Or something. I don't know. All I know is I don't like foreign matter injected into me, nor do I like things taken out of me that belong in me (such as blood). I'm a firm believer in the fact that if God had wanted my blood in vials, He would have put it there Himself instead of inside my body... where it keeps me alive.

Thankfully, according to my doctor, my "blood work was so good last year" that I did not have to have a work up this year. Go me! I'm actually shocked at this since I've sort of lost some weight since last year. I had gained 6 lbs, then I lost it all. I can't tell you how frustrating that is. #(*&#*($^&*@#$(*#@&$ is all I have to say about that. I tried to get her to prescribe me some calorie pills, but she insists they don't exist. I think she's holding out on me.

Have I told you how much I like my doctor? I really do. She's nice and thorough and puts up with my quirks very well (just like my dentist, who I also love - it's true - despite the fact that I freak out whenever I have to visit either). However, she's leaving the practice at the end of next month. I'm hoping she'll move to another place in town so I can stick with her, otherwise I'll have to find someone else and I don't think that will be so easy. Before she leaves, I'll be visiting her at least once for acupuncture.

People. I was shaking over a tiny TB anti-whatever needle injection. And I'll be getting acupuncture. Lots of little needles. All over. Left in me for several minutes. While I watch. Does anyone see a potential problem here?

For some reason, my doctor laughs when I visit her. I can't imagine why. It's not like I'm funny or anything. I mean, all I did was ask her if my salivary gland was going to kill me, or if a dermatological cream would kill me if I accidentally forgot to wash my hands after using it and before eating (if you know me at all, you'd know that this scenario is impossible), what she was listening to when she put the stethoscope up to my belly (who knew it gurgles all the time? I mean, listening to belly gurgles isn't exactly normal behavior, you know...), and make the connection between my phobias and all the problems in the entire world. We decided that if we can somehow fix my anxiety issues, we can bring peace to the middle east. I know it's true. She agreed. And laughed. It's a good thing I didn't tell her I locked myself in the bathroom... naked. I'm sure that caused some kind of planetary shift that we just haven't yet found. I don't think Lexapro can fix stupid.

The dentist laughs at me too. I just can't figure it out...

So back to my toxin/not-toxin injection. It was a lot less scary than I expected. Not that I'd want to do it again, but it didn't hurt that much. I even watched for a couple of seconds (but not for long because, seriously, who enjoys watching their skin bubble up? I mean, ewe.). The nurse that works there is really cool. He's an older gentleman and quite funny. I have to have my arm bubble "read" on Thursday, but he says that I can just send my arm. I don't actually have to show up myself. Good to know, man-nurse. Good to know.

Because my arm? Phobia free.

It might be phobia free (and now, mostly bubble free) but it sure isn't bruise free. I bruise at the drop of a... needle? I should have taken a picture when I had my blood work done last year. You would have sworn someone punched me, hard. Even this little needle left a bruise. I'm also very clumsy, so really, I'm never bruise free. I promise no one beats me (unless door jambs and the dog gate count).

I took a picture of my toxin/non-toxin arm bubble bruise. But I'll spare you. I can only "dab it, not rub it" so it has crusty blood on it, and no one likes crusty blood. Even I'm not sick enough to blog about that.

The 123rd page

Heidi tagged me for this book meme.

Here are the rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the 5th sentence.
4. Post the next 3 sentences.
5. Tag 5 people.

I grabbed the nearest big book that wasn't a book of recipes, and the following is what I found.

"I'll ride this through - I don't need to let this get to me."

"I deserve to feel O.K. right now."

"I can take all the time I need in order to let go and relax."

These are coping statements in The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne, Ph.D. I have no idea if they work because I haven't read much of the book. I read enough to realize I'm pretty much a psycho, and haven't gotten a chance to read more. ;o)

Let's see. I'll tag...

Dustin
Jessica the Rock Chick
JavaMama
Chelsea
Jessica / PaulsBride