Sober

I've never been a huge Kelly Clarkson fan. Don't get me wrong... I think her voice is pretty amazing and I enjoyed seeing her win American Idol. I'm not a huge fan of the type of music she did at first, but like a few of her later songs. I have a tremendous amount of respect for someone who goes against the grain and does their own music. Anyone can sound decent after time in the recording studio (hence the onslaught of recording artists that suck live - though I don't think Kelly is one of them), but not everyone can write good music.

I hadn't heard "Sober" until fairly recently. For some reason, I can't get it out of my head. It's about addiction... not necessarily to alcohol, just addiction to something, anything. To paraphrase a clip I read from her about the song, everyone has something. The only things I've been addicted to are chocolate and sugar. *giggle* But when I hear "Sober", it speaks to me not about addiction as much as about survival and beating the odds, which I feel like I'm still in the middle of trying to do myself.

I'm sure I'm one of the last people on the planet to hear it, but just in case you haven't or have but would like to hear it again, here is a video of her performing it live. You can read the lyrics here.

I don't know about you, but I'm still trying to pick those weeds.

The Pachelbel Rant

You may have already seen this, but I had not seen it before tonight. A friend sent it to me, and I laughed and laughed!

Pachelbel is the person who composed Canon in D. I'm sure you've heard it... it's pretty common at weddings. This stand up act just goes to show that there truly is nothing new under the sun!

Disclaimer: do not watch if you are offended by a couple of mild cuss words or if you happen to be in the same room as littles who like to mimic things they hear.

What's really funny to me is that I LOVE Canon in D. Good thing I'm not a cellist. *grin*

And yes. His first name was Johann. *giggle*

Wait. Who's the geek?!

Lifehouse: Everything

I came across this video tonight and thought it was too amazing to not share.

I watched it twice and cried both times! Hope you enjoy:

I Would Die for That

By Kellie Coffey

Ugly Like Me

Do you ever have days where you're disgusted with yourself? Yeah, that's me today this week. All these things I've been going through, all my "defining moments", have really made me take a step back and peek into the depths of myself and closely look at what's inside.

I'm not going into specifics because I don't want people yelling at me or people coddling me, and I'm sure both would happen. I don't like what I see. I don't like who I am and what I've become. I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

This is the song that's going through my head today.

"Outside" by Staind:

Who knew?

I found this little quiz on Nspired by Faith. It looked fun, and I'm bored, so why not? (Edited for sensitive eyes.)

You Are Amy Lee!

Gothy, expressive, woman-in-pain Who looks darn good in a corset "When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears"

Who's Your Inner Rock Chick?

So this is sort of funny.

I'm so not goth. Not even close!

The only time I've ever worn a corset was when I had to wear the horribly uncomfortable corset-bra thing underneath my wedding dress. I should have burned it, but it's in the back of my closet. It will never be worn again though, I can tell you that much.

I am expressive, and I am in pain a lot lately... but I only wish I could sing like and had the songwriting talent of Amy Lee! My Immortal is one of my all time favorite songs. I can get lost in it... the haunting yet beautiful background music, the deep lyrics, the vocals?? Aaaahhh. I just love it. I like the duet she did with the dude from Seether... Broken? Fantastic. (Right about now, if he has looked up any of this music, my dad is falling over in his chair drawing up plans to disown me, his only child... ;oP but hey, I likes what I likes!)

So who knew? My inner Rock Chick is Amy Lee of Evanescence. Could be worse, that's for sure. Want to play along? Leave me a comment and tell me all about your inner Rock Chick!

Excuse me, I think the black fingernail polish is calling my name...

She's Dancing...

For those of you that do not yet know, my beloved granny went home to be with our Lord (and her husband who passed 26 yrs ago) on Saturday morning. She was loved by many and especially by me. She was always one of my favorite people in the whole world. I attribute my stubbornness to her. ;o) I'm so thankful to know that she considered my Lord her own and that she's in His presence now, worshiping without her sick, earthly body holding her down anymore.

Today I was looking through and singing some of the songs I have written in the past, and there were a couple I just could not get through. This one in particular I wrote a few years ago when I had an image of a child dancing with her daddy, all clumsy-like, as you would expect a child to be... then the daddy catching her and putting her feet on his as he dances for her. The child, totally captivated by his love for her, looks up into his face admiring who he is. This song was born out of that image, and after getting through my boohoos and probably staining my husband's guitar with my tears, I played through it again this afternoon and smiled. It's not just an image in my granny's mind, it is now her reality.

Just to Dance

Let your presence cover me now
So close that I can feel your heart
And hear your song of love beat within
You smile at me and bring me in

Just to dance in your glory
Fall like a child into your arms
Just to gaze into your beauty
In total awe of who you are

Surround me Jesus, your light is peace
Saturate me in your love
Flood my soul with your precious fire
Lord, you're my one desire

Just to dance in your glory
Fall like a child into your arms
Just to gaze into your beauty
In total awe of who you are

Who you are is all I've hoped for
You are everything I need
Oh Lord, what I long for
Is for your face to shine on me
Come shine on me

And oh to dance in your glory
Fall like a child into your arms
Just to gaze into your beauty
In total awe of who you are

© Crystal M.H. 2007

Dance on, granny... dance on.

In Other Words: The Blood

“At the heart of the story stands the cross of Christ where evil did its worst and met its match.” ~ John Wenham

There are so many good things that have already been said of this quote this week, that I don't feel like I have too much to add. There are two things keep running through my mind. One is that evil is NO match for the glory and power of God. Though I am sure that was not Wenham's intent. :o) Two is I love how he mentions that "evil did its worst". A lot of times we look to our salvation and the events that brought it about as a wonderful thing - and don't get me wrong, it is wonderful indeed! - but we easily forget the agony that went along with it.

Iris mentioned The Passion of the Christ. I vividly remember the day after my lovely husband and I watched that movie, sitting in my chair, getting angry with God for having Jesus - the one and only perfect One EVER - take all of MY "crud" upon His perfect self. Imagine that! Being mad over the very thing that saved my soul. It just seemed so unfair. What He went through was brutal, and He deserved none of it, but I did and didn't get it. What I didn't deserve and yet was given anyway was Him taking it upon Himself. But that's what the grace of God is... what He gives to us even though we are unworthy and undeserving of even the smallest drop of it. It took me a little while to come to terms with that, and I'm glad that I went through those angry moments because I feel as though it has made me appreciate the gift a little more. I've always been one of those people that requires a swift knock to the head to "get it" sometimes when it comes to God's love and grace. Seeing it so vividly and having to come to terms with the horror of it and the fact that it was for me (and you) was a big knock.

I'll end now with a poem I wrote when I was around 14. Yes, it's quite old but the message still rings true and fits with this week's quote and the Passover season, so I thought I would share.

The Blood

As blood flowed down His thorn-crowned head
The people shouted, ''This Christ, He's dead!''
No one assumed, they could not understand
That this crimson blood would save the souls of man

They carried Him to the tomb, and there laid Him down
The blood still clinging to His bruised, scarred crown
As they sealed the grave, they could not conceive
That this blood held power to cleanse all who believe

The third day came, when He rose up again
The scars were still there, but no was blood on Him!
He gave up his life; shed His precious blood for all
Now our lives we must give Him in answer to His call

The power is so great, our minds cannot understand
The love God expressed for us when He revealed His plan
This power is still flowing, coming down like a flood
So will you believe in the Power of the Blood?

© Crystal M.H. 2007

Please visit Iris at Sting my Heart for more on this week's quote.

Always Here

Periodically I like to read through my poetry and play through a few of my songs. Going over them today, this song stood out to me. I wrote it a couple years back during a time that was hard, but when I could still plainly see God's hand in my life and feel His peace. In my heart of hearts, I know He's still there... I just can't seem to find Him lately. I don't know how to get back to the place of His peace. So much of me has been broken down, there's not much left other than pain and anger and that's pretty scary. Too many people lose their faith and abandon God over such deep pain... the thought absolutely terrifies me. I so desperately want to be assured that He's here with me, just like always. I know it's true, I just can't feel it... but then again, Christianity and faith aren't supposed to be based on feelings. I guess that's why they call it faith, it's not tangible. I could definitely use an extra dose of that stuff lately along with a good shot of reassurance.


Always Here

I feel the joy of your mighty rain pouring down
I hear the wind whispering your name
I see the clouds breaking way for your majesty
It's so clear to me that right now, right now

I see you, I see your power
I feel you, I feel your grace
It's times like these I know you're near me
You're always here... always here

Each time I fall your gentle hands lift me up
Captivating me in your perfect love
And though it seems there's a mountain in front of me
What's so clear to me is right now, right now

I see you, I see your power
I feel you, I feel your grace
It's times like these I know you're near me
You're always here... always here

And when I fear, you quiet me in your love
As you rejoice over me and sing!

I see you, I see your power
I feel you, I feel your grace
It's times like these I know you're near me
You're always here... always here


© Crystal M.H. 2007

Pieces of Me

This song is dedicated to all women who don't quite feel complete, having lost or just not yet found all their missing pieces...

Pieces of Me

You're but a picture in my mind, just a song on my lips
A prayer towards heaven, all my lonely cries
Everything I've never known but have always missed

Pieces of me, you're never around
We play hide and seek but you're never found
Riding on the tails of hope and faith
So hard to hang on; so hard to be free
So hard to believe... missing pieces of me

Face of an angel not in sight, yet forever in my eyes
The beat of my heart, rhythm not yet played
Every reason I am torn, can you tell me why?

Pieces of me, you're never around
We play hide and seek but you're never found
Riding on the tails of hope and faith
So hard to hang on; so hard to be free
So hard to believe... missing pieces of me

So close I can almost hear your voice
So near, your sweet breath upon my cheek
But still so far, just out of reach
Tell me will you come to me? When will you come to me?

Pieces of me, you're never around
We play hide and seek but you're never found
Riding on the tails of hope and faith
So hard to hang on; so hard to be free
So hard to believe... missing pieces of me

© Crystal M.H. 2007

Thursday Thirteen #3

Thirteen Texas Christmas Carols

1. We Snuck Up On and Shot a Deer

2. Oh Mesquite Tree

3. Keep Your Snow! Keep Your Snow! Keep Your Snow!

4. Maybe It's Cold Outside?

5. Away in a Ranger

6. Oh Come, All Ye Immigrants

7. Lovely Weather for a Hay Ride Together With You

8. It's the Least Sweltering Time of the Year

9. Up at the Truck Stop

10. Carol Ain't No Belle

11. Joy to the World, the Cowboys Won! (Yeah... right...)

12. Santa Got Run Over By My Chevy

13. I Heard Daddy's Suing Santa Clause

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No "La la la la la la la" here!

Music is a powerful force. Such a simple thing, yet so complex. Nothing can move one's spirit and touch one's heart in the same ways that music can. The steadiness of the beat... rise and fall of the melody... the gripping harmony, whether heard out loud or in your head...

Each one of these parts alone may not be much, but they can be combined in such a way that they create a piece of art that can pierce through even the hardest of hearts. Maybe that's why I enjoy making it so much. Having the power to write something that can move a person's spirit and bring them closer to our Creator is a precious gift... and though it may be hard to believe, it's also so very humbling.

I enjoy many genres of music. Country is one of my favorites. (Don't throw tomatoes at me, please! ;o) I find much of it soulful, and a lot of it seems to deal with real emotions. So, yeah, some of it is just silly and can be questionable material... like tractors being sexy and giving beer to your horses... but I still enjoy it for the most part. I was always a daddy's girl growing up, so the songs about father/daughter relationships really get me. There's a song out right now titled, "I Loved Her First" that makes me cry at least every other time I hear it. :o) See? Music is powerful. If I were to just read the words I would probably think, "aww, gee, that's really sweet!" But combined with the rhythm, instruments, and soulful singing, it digs deeper and really grabs me.

Who can hear a real love song... I'm talking a real love song, not the pokey ones you hear in pop music now a days... and not feel something, whether it be longing for someone you miss or passion for someone you're with? Who can hear a song like The Star Spangled Banner and not feel at least a bit of pride in our country and the things people have been through and given up to make it what it is today? Who among the true church of the Lord can hear a song of worship... (and I mean real worship, not that "La la la la la la la" stuff that belongs more in children's church than it does in the sanctuary) and walk away with no more of the Creator than before you heard it?

Music is such a wonderful doorway into true worship. I think that's one of the reasons I love it so much. It is certainly my goal in writing music. I really don't write anything but worship music. I think I could if I really wanted to, but I feel that God gave me this gift to proclaim His glory... why would I even want to use it for anything but? Though sometimes I do forget all of this. I have a little fun learning to sing and play a new country song by Faith Hill or someone else I'd trade voices with anyday... and I play it until my fingers hurt. But I can't stop yet. Everytime I pick up the guitar, I end up playing my worship til my fingers scream. It's just so much a part of me, I come back to it every time. Even when I'm in the most stagnant of places, running from the Lord and His plans for me, filled with fear and doubt and anger... I'm drawn to the music with which He fills my soul. I have a few favorites I play a lot, but there are a couple that are more difficult for me to sing, so I don't go to them as often. Oh but when I do, I remember why they are worth the extra effort. Both of them are about being in the presence of the Lord (which is the main theme of a lot of my latest songs!) and I have a hard time singing the second verse of one of them. It's not musically difficult or anything like that (though the chorus is a little hard for my voice if it's not a vocally strong day for me) but to me the words are so powerful I really have a hard time catching my breath.

I'm not quite sure I understand what it feels like to truly be in the presence of God. I know people talk about it often, but I'm not sure I've experienced it in the ways that people usually talk about. But when I sing this song, I can almost feel His breath upon my skin, His power is so real to me at that moment. That's what I desire from my music. I want the power of God to be expressed through it in such a way that if the listener has their heart open to the Lord, they can't help but feel Him in it. I've always written my pieces, both poetry and music, with the heart of blessing others and worshiping the Lord. I can't tell you how precious it is to me when I learn that God has indeed accomplished that through me. It's truly surreal and a bit mind boggling. I definitely don't deserve to be used in such a way, and I must admit that I'm scared to learn of what all He plans for me regarding my music... but I guess for now it's just one step at a time. One song, verse, and note after another. Hopefully each one will bring me just a little closer to Him and maybe even someday bring Him just a little closer to you.