Tuesday, February 07, 2006

One Day

My husband is a wonderful man. In fact, I really could never say enough good about him. He is so intelligent, witty... so very handsome and strong. He makes me laugh like no one else, comforts me like no one else, and brings a smile to my face just by the mere thought of him... like no one else. He is the only man besides my father to ever love me. Why he loves me is something I'm not sure I will ever understand... but I will accept it and cherish it. Yes it is no secret that I am truly and abundantly blessed to be called his wife.

But alas, like all other things in this world that are too good to be true... there is a problem. He is hurt. He hurts. Constantly and badly. Because of the indiscresion of one person and the ignorance of a handful of others... he is permanently and severely injured. This of course does not affect our love for each other, but it does affect our lives... his mostly.

It's with him constantly, and many times he hides it well so no one else is touched by it. But I know... I know it's always there. I know there's not a darn thing I can do about it... and it drives me mad. Why does such a bad thing have to happen to such a good individual? Why can't all the prayers offered on his behalf by not only me but countless others move the heart of God enough to bring him some relief? Why does he have to go through this... so young with so much life ahead of him... and why, oh why can't I take it from him?

Tonight someone asked me about it... she doesn't really know me, so she didn't know the story. As I sat and typed it all out, reliving the parts I could rememer, I just started to break down. It's just not fair that someone so caring and so undeserving of such pain has to endure it. It's not fair that he has to go work enough to fill several person's shoes in pain the whole time, while I get to work at home comfortable and for the most part, pain free. It was then, as I finished telling this person of this situation, that I decided I would trade all the happiness I could ever experience for the rest of my life... if only I could just take his pain upon myself and give him relief for just one week... even one day. I would do it and then some. Why doesn't the Lord allow us to make deals like that? It's not like I want to give him the world (although I would love to if I could...) I just want to give him a chance to remember what it feels like to not be hurting. A day to just enjoy life and do whatever he wanted to do without fear of the pain that it would inevitably bring.

I would take it forever... though I'm not sure I'm strong enough. But one day... I could give him at least one day... if only I could...


Anonymous said...

Awww, I'm praying for your husband!!


Anonymous said...

((((((((((Crystal)))))))) I'm sorry it seems there is nothing you can do for his pain. Your love for your husband is tangible, I can tell!