Thursday, August 16, 2007

There's *what* in my water??

We're now entering day three of a city wide water boil advisory. Why, you ask? Well, apparently all of our crazy July rain has caused the system to not get flushed well enough and some testing showed the presence of e.coli in the water.

Yep. E.coli. You know, the stuff in poop. Now this is not that big of a deal to me personally because I do not drink tap water. I'm a water snob (totally my mom's fault) and will only drink water that has been purified by reverse osmosis. So, it's bottled water only for me, at least until we buy an RO filter for our house. Which may or may not happen in this century. Besides, bottled water is fashionable, you know? But even though I don't *drink* the water, I do sometimes cook with it and I always brush my teeth with it. Now, I thought that brushing your teeth was supposed to get rid of the ickies, not put more in. I gotta tell ya, I'm not relishing the idea of rinsing my mouth out with, you know, fecal matter. Love that poop breath!

Yesterday the grocery store was a MAD HOUSE as the crazy people in this crazy city were all making a mad dash to the one store we decided to visit. Why? Well, I imagine they don't enjoy poop breath much themselves, so they were going insane buying bottled water. They had huge piles of the stuff (both gallons and flats of the little bottles that all the cool kids carry around) and these crazy people were quite literally filling their shopping baskets. With water. I feel completely comfortable calling these people crazy because, well, I joined the ranks. Two flats of the cool little bottles and four gallons later, I waited in line to pay for my precious fecal-free commodity.

This was yesterday. How much water have I drank since then? Umm, none. I have drank some canned sparkling water though. I guess that counts in someone's world.

So, we're supposed to boil any tap water used for cooking and drinking purposes for two minutes. Guess what I did at midnight. That's right, I boiled some water. But not for just two minutes, mind you. What if there are some very stubborn little e.colis and their little e.coli babies floating around in there that were smart enough to apply some heat-proof shielding to themselves before infiltrating my pipes? Shut up. Of COURSE that's possible. "I reject your reality and substitute my own." So I boiled the water until it was about halfway gone and called myself satisfied. "But wait!" you scream, "I thought you don't DRINK tap water!" You are right, bloggy friends, I don't. So why did I boil the water at midnight? Well, for my dogs of course. The dogs that lick each other's butts and eat all manner of gross things they find outside. The one dog that used to eat cat poop daily and eats her sister's vomit anytime I don't get too it soon enough. The other dog that pukes all the time and has a booty leaking issue that she makes sure to clean regularly. Yes, these dogs. I boiled water for these dogs. We can't be having poop-breath dogs full of e.coli, right?

And now the crazies of the bloggy world will go to bed. After I brush my teeth with *drum roll, please* that precious bottled water, of course.

5 comments:

Dustin said...

"What if there are some very stubborn little e.colis and their little e.coli babies floating around in there that were smart enough to apply some heat-proof shielding to themselves before infiltrating my pipes? Shut up. Of COURSE that's possible." - I may have found a new away message! She's serious, people...no really...she is :)

And for the record, according to the boil water blog of our local news channel, they are telling people not to let pets drink the water either...unless it's been boiled.

Crystal said...

Oh good, so I'm not just insane. ;o)

Jessica Morris said...

Ohhh - is that hubby Dustin!! HELLOOOO Dustin!! =)

Crystal, gotta say, I love how you have a conversation with yourself when you blog - it happens nearly every post and I just love it!!
I think I'd find great amusement being inside your head =)

Heidi @ GGIP said...

Well that certainly is a blog worthy topic! I'm not sure I've ever had to boil water. I drink tap water, but always filtered and sometimes bottled. I do NOT like sparkling water for some reason.

I hope this health scare gets cleared up fast. I don't think it's weird to boil water for pets.

Chris the Crazy Conservative said...

HELLO!!!!
You COULD use RO water for your dogs too!!! We do and she LOVES it!!!!