How big is a mole hole?

I couldn't tell ya, but apparently someone thinks my blog is the mole guru. Oh yes. It's another crazy Google keywords post. I mean, what else should I blog about? I've been trying to think of a topic for a week now. I've been a horrible blogger.

Sure, I could bore you with adoption stuff or jewelry stuff or how we were five minutes away from calling the police on Saturday and reporting a stolen truck, but isn't Google so much more entertaining? Ok maybe not, but Dustin stole my blog topic. So here we are, and here are a few of the many crazy keywords that have brought people to my blog in the past few weeks. Enjoy!

"shagadelic song" - Yeah, baby!

"how do i find a song if i know some words" - Well you certainly wouldn't type the words into Google... nope, that would be a total waste of time!

"all dreams have died" - Word.

"chain maille jokes" - You all know I love chain maille. But is it funny? Is it? Do you laugh at the chain maille? "Why did the Jens Pind cross the road?" That really is not working for me. Sorry.

"humuhumukununukuapua'a song" - humuhuha-huh? I think that's the Hawaiian pig nosed fish or something. Can Hawaiian pig nosed fish sing? Do they mount them on the wall and sell them online to people who enjoy tacky decor? *gasp* Are pig nosed fish really rednecks in disguise?!

"can i paint over shiny brass trim" - Oh, no. No no no! It's better if you end the relationship right here and now with a clean break and just rip out the fake, shiny fake brass stuff and replace it with nice brushed nickel. Just do it. DO IT. You'll thank me later. I promise.

"again and again before for me you metal" - Uuhhhhhh... riiiiiiight.

"the cutest earrings ever" - Can be found here.

"i have got soul but i am not solder" - Oh thank goodness! If my solder started talking to the Google, about its soul and stuff, I might get all scared. And then send it to the eternal firey pit of my torch flame.

"soul eat" - Eat, soul, eat. Eat now! Chicken soup, anyone?

"my mole is hanging off" - Dagnabit people, didn't we cover this last time?! What is it with you googlers trying to rip off your moles?!

"my soul is like a mole" - Is it hanging off? How big is its hole? Is it solder? Can I melt it? Is it hungry?

"i want to know how to spend the song in my decument" - Decument? Spend the song? In your decument? Crazy googler say whut? That is just so many levels of wrong. I'm speechless. Well, almost, anyway. Or not at all, really. But stating you're speechless implies - like no other phrase can - that a deep level of stunning stupidity has been unfortunately thrust upon your day. And that, dear bloggy friends, is exactly what has happened here. So you'll pardon my speechless-lessness, I'm sure. It's been a long week.