Product Review: Rotting Fruit, Anyone?

Since I'm trying to gain weight, I've been forced to mostly give up plain water. *cries* Since I cut out coke (that's all soda, for those of you who don't live in the south), I've come to love me some plain water or some lemon flavored non-sweetened sparkling water (La Croix is one brand). Unfortunately, God decided that water doesn't need calories. I think God and I need to have a little talk about that one. Anyway, I've been trying to down some other beverages (NOT coke) that have calories, or else it's wasted space in my teeny tiny belly.

There's sweet tea of course, and then sometimes I'll drink juice. I'm not a huge juice fan, but there are a couple I like. One I've come to like is V8's V-Fusion. It's a mix of 100% fruits and veggies. Now, I've always liked carrot juice. Momma Belle used to make it fresh and it's deeee-lish with an apple thrown in.

So last week Momma Belle and I ran to the grocery store while we were out doing some other stuff. I wanted some juice, and I happened to see that Juicy Juice now has some 100% fruit and veggie juice mixes. I thought to myself, "Self? Try it." No angelic choir was present this time... I should have known right then that it was a mistake. Why buy something new when the thing I know I already like is right there and only two cents more? Two cents, people. TWO CENTS. But yeah, I'm that cheap and I bought it. Orange Mango or something like that.

I stuck it in my fridge, unopened, and forgot about it until today when I walked into the kitchen about to drink another sugar-loaded "nutritional" drink ("nutritional" in whose eyes, exactly??) when I remembered this juice. I got all happy and opened it. I poured a glass full and sniffed it. "Hmm... that smells weird. Almost like rotting fruit." I figured, what the hey? It must be one of those bizarre freaks of nature that smells weird but tastes good. I sniff it again. "Ummm, yeah, this smells not that great." I shrug and give it a big gulp. Lemme tell you, it tastes just like it smells. Rotting fruit. Nasty as all yahoo! I promptly ran to the kitchen and poured the rest of the glass down the sink, and the remainder in the fridge? Yeah, I'm crossing my fingers at it like it's about to try and suck my blood.

Remember, I like carrot juice, so that's not it. I thought I liked mangoes too, so I don't think that's it either. I think Juicy Juice just decided to take their less than appealing left overs (bruises, mold, and all) and is throwing them into a blender, declaring it a healthy surprise for your kids. Don't buy it! It's tasty, people. Really nasty. It seriously tastes like you would imagine rotting fruit tastes. And if you've been unwittingly feeding it to your children? Please stop. They might get nightmares (I know I will)!

So, to recap:

V8 V-Fusion? Gooood. I'll be buying it again.
Juicy Juice Harvest Surprise? Nasty! Stay away!

That is, of course, unless you like the taste of rotting fruit. Then more power to you. Long live the moles.