Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Rantings of an Underweight Crazy Woman

I am underweight.

I am not bulimic. I am not anorexic. I never have been and never will be. I am probably one of the worst emetophobics in the history of emetophobia, and cannot even fathom the idea of making myself throw up. I realize I am underweight and need to gain 15-20 lbs at least. I WANT to gain weight.

I wear a size 0. It's hard to find nice clothes in a size 0. I can't wear kids clothes because they are not made for people with curves. I am a curvy, underweight size 0.

I am healthy. I am not malnourished. My cholesterol, blood sugar, electrolytes, iron, kidneys, and liver are all perfect.

Now that you know all this about me, it's time you know some other things.

Don't give in to the weight double standard. If it's not okay to say nasty things to and about fat people (and it's NOT) then it's not okay to say nasty things to and about skinny people. Unless you're a doctor or other medical professional that has valuable and important information, just zip it when it comes to a person's weight. If you're proud of your overweightness, that's fine. I'm not stupid enough to assume that just because you're overweight that means you're unhealthy and lack self control. Can't you pay me the same respect?

I am not a skeleton, nor do I look like one. I'd appreciate it if you don't refer to skinny people as "skeletons" or "aliens" or "bobble heads" or "broomsticks" or "twigs" or "looking half dead" or "disgusting" just to make yourself feel better. Or any other reason, for that matter. I thought the whole name calling thing died out in junior high. I guess some people never grow up.

Do not call people of bigger sizes "real women" just because they are not underweight. Last time I checked, I had all the parts necessary to qualify as a "real woman". All natural born women are real women... size has nothing to do with it.

Do not accuse me or any other skinny person of having an eating disorder. You have no idea what is or is not in a person's head. Why assume? It's rude.

Do not tell me or anyone else to "go eat a ***insert expletive of your choice here*** sandwich, for pete's sake", or say ""Why doesn't someone get them some donuts??" (I'll take a chocolate cake Krispy Kreme, if anyone's buying.)

Do not say superficial crap like, "oh she was so pretty before she lost weight" or "guys only like REAL women with meat on their bones, not those skinny bobble heads" or "that is sooo unattractive". Gee, thanks. Thank goodness I left my cares about what others think about me back in high school. I guess some people do grow up.

Look. I don't say nasty things about people who are overweight. I don't call them names. I don't mention what they should and should not eat. I don't accuse them of having eating disorders (and yes, overweight people can have them too). I don't say superficial crap about their looks. I don't make fun. Is it too freaking much to expect the same thing in return?

Yeah, I thought so.


Jeanie said...

Ooh, I get to comment FIRST!

You already know how I feel about this. My brother has also struggled for years to put weight on, and he gets the same "You're so skinny! You should eat something!" kinds of comments.

He finally told one relative that "at least I'm not fat" -- and that ended all the comments about being skinny. (Wouldn't recommend that, but hey -- if everybody's weight is up for discussion -- everybody is EVERY BODY, right?)

I'm not quite sure why people assume the naturally thin are always undernourished and anorexic. Look back in the history books. People used to be quite thin in America. (Thanks, High Fructose Corn Syrup!)

Sorry, I'm rambling. You know I have your back. Just let me at 'em if someone starts making rude comments. There is ALWAYS room for courtesy. (Didn't it used to be considered really a faux pas to ask a woman her age or her weight? Yeah, we ought to get back to that...)

My hat is off to you for writing a good post.


Heidi @ GGIP said...

I was told I was too skinny for most of my life. Now I'm not and need to lose a few pounds.

You have a good point about the "real woman" thing. That is really stupid that people say that.

Anyhow, I tagged you and you must come over and see...

blackpurl said...

In my family I usually hear comments about my weight or my hair at every family gathering.

Over the years I have either been too fat or too skinny. No matter what I weigh it is never "just right!"

Sorry that you had to deal with someone who was being insensitive... that sucks!

The Rock Chick said...

HI Crystal!!

I have the same problem. I've been underweight my entire life with the exception of being pregnant. That was the only time in my life I could gain weight pretty easily. Right now I am 5'9" and 125 lbs. I've been this size since I was about 15. I've even had 4 babies and I went right back to the same size.

If I don't eat all the time, I lose weight very quickly. There are people who don't understand this, though and I, too have been asked if I'm anorexic, sick, if I make myself vomit, do I eat at all...blah blah blah....

The worst comment I think I ever heard from someone was "So, how was your trip to ethiopia?". Seriously.

One of my best friends is very heavy. She thought people said terrible things only to heavy people. Nope. She can't even believe the things I am asked. I guess because you're skinny, people think its ok to just ask. It's terrible.


ColoradoDreaming said...

My husband was like that for years. He is not overweight now but he is no longer what he called underweight. He tried for years to gain. The only thing that helped him was to work out with weights. When his mom would come over to visit after we had gotten married she would look him over like some little kid, behind the ears and all that nonesense. And she would comment on how thin he was. I would sit there and think "He is the size he was when I got him" She didn't do any better at putting weight on him. But that was long ago. People are mean and unthinking and sometimes they really just don't care. Just remember that God made you the way you are and your metabilism and He thinks you are beautiful!

Anonymous said...

I wish the media would let this issue go. They never tire of telling us that X is too fat because she has a bit of a curve and they've photographed her in her cream satin dress disaster of the year or speculating wildly that Y is anorexic after they've got her sucking on a lemon drop and photoshopped out her boobs, etc, etc. I think if the media would quit and let us and our doctors decide whether we need to lose or gain some weight attitudes would be much healthier. As for men *harrrummphhh* I think we all know they can be pretty adaptable! :-)

Anonymous said...

This is a great post ! Searching up "underweight-not anorexic" I discovered this post and must say all of this is true. I have been naturally underweight since I can remember, but am a healthy young woman (have the medical tests to prove it) but yet still get all the "yourrr soo skinny" hype, and remember clearly one particular instance, as a college student, a woman professor of mine in front of the class told me directly and rudely.. "Whats the deal, u dont eat ? " It gets to the point where I feel it's not even worth my energy to respond to ignorant comments such as these.
I really can relate and hate how thin women have to put up and hear that popular "men like women with meat and curves" idea. I feel just as there are men who like these type of women, there are also some who love the "thin-model type physique", so this shows as they say "different strokes for different folks." And if someone has a problem or is going to put alot of importance or reject me for what number the scale reads, quite frankly I wouldn't want to be with such an ignorant person in the first place, and they'd be doing me a favor as well. =)
People should learn there is alot more to a person than a weight number or a dress size. There will always be something people will come up with to realease their insecurities of themselves on others, or just prove how they still have alot of growing up to do as you said regardless of how you look. Props to you, for telling it how it is. ;-)