Friday, June 15, 2007

Spiders and tigers and bears, oh my!

A few minutes ago, I noticed my good dog pawing at something over against the wall. Knowing the habit of the neighborhood scorpions to decide to infiltrate our humble abode, I figured I should check it out. Much to my relief, it was not a scorpion, just a spider. Now, I'm not fond of spiders, but knowing that most of them aren't a danger makes me not freak out over one anymore. (Yes, I know that Texas scorpions aren't a danger either, but come on. They're just freaky and scary anyway!)

I leaned in to see what kind of spider it was (we get these totally harmless but incredibly dangerous looking black ones with red back marks!), and I couldn't tell, but I did notice that its butt was kind of bumpy. I wasn't thinking about this fact very clearly (I am tired... it is 2am, after all, and I wanted to go to bed an hour ago but was too riveted by a google search on what can make for cloudy urine -- yes, I'm that much of a nerd) and decided to just kill it.

My husband is not here tonight, so there weren't any big shoes around. I wear a size 5 shoe and when it comes to spider squishing, I'm a firm believer in the bigger the better. We don't have any bug spray, so I decide Lysol is a safe bet. That stuff will kill anything. So I spray it with Lysol, and of course, it freaks out and slows down enough for me to feel secure in squishing it with a smaller-type shoe. So I squish it, but it's a very determined little bugger and it does NOT want to die. I squish it 4 more times before it dies. It's then that I realize that there are little moving things all across where the spider had crawled in its final moments. What were these little moving things, you ask? Well, at first glance, I thought they were ants. We're always battling ants in Texas. I'll tell you right now, they were not ants. They were little baby spiders that I guess jumped off of big momma's butt when I started inundating them with poison. Little baby spiders. A TON of little baby spiders. Crawling on my floor. Probably jumping on my head, running up my nose, and trying to eat my brain. I think that portion of the carpet is now completely disinfected for life. And there are who knows how many dead and disinfected baby spiders now sitting in my vacuum cleaner. I love Lysol.

I haven't stopped feeling little things crawling all over me since. I'm not sure I'll get much sleep tonight. I'm completely skeeved out! Like I said, I'm generally okay with most spiders... and I will leave them alone to live their happy spidery little lives if they're outside. But they aren't allowed to survive if they breach my doorway... especially carrying little babies on their butts!



Jessica Morris said...

Oh gross. Gross. Gross. Gross. Gives me the shivers!!

When I was in Nigeria there was an abundance of ants - several times there were thousands of ants (I kid you not! THOUSANDS!) crawling on my bedroom wall. You couldn't even see the wall - just these ants crawling over each other. We didn't use Lysol, but it was some similar spray to kill them ... k, so I wasn't even a part of that "we" ... I had my grandparents do it for me and I hovered at the door watching them. *embarrassed grin*

Sheryl said...

totally laughing my head off...sorry, but that was just too funny!
I've used hairspray when kind of glues them right where they are!

Heidi @ GGIP said...

I don't mind most bugs, but I do not like spiders. We have some creepy looking, but harmless ones around here.