Saturday, December 06, 2008


I guess I haven't rambled in a while. Truth is, I haven't had a lot to say. I'm definitely in a funk these days. Call it depression, call it the blues, call it a funk, dreary, the blahs, whatever you want to call it I have it. All I want to do is sleep. I cry at the drop of a hat. Or the whack of a hammer...

*I hit the heck out of my finger yesterday. I was cutting some discs for an order, and the big, heavy duty mallet landed on my finger instead of the punch. Hardened steel + big, heavy duty mallet + lots of force = OUUUUCHHH!!! Although what I said was far less polite than ouch.

*I tried to take a photo of my poor finger, as it is quite bruised, but for some reason the bruises really don't come out on the photo. It's weird. It looks ugly. And it still hurts.

*Arnica cream does not help when you whack your finger that hard.

*Crying for ten minutes straight while calling your finger very ugly names does not help either.

*Icing it while crying and calling it ugly names does very little in the way of comfort too.

*Typing hurts. Though yesterday I could not use it at all, so I guess hurt is somewhat of an improvement.

*Our flooring project is almost complete.

*Well, kinda. All of the flooring is down, and now we're trying to put the baseboards back on.

*Well, "we" meaning my dad. And sometimes I watch. Nail guns scare me. Hello, I can't even use a mallet without killing a finger.

*Dustin and I are shopping around for a camcorder. I'm thinking about video blogging. I don't know about that though. I mean, your expectations of me are so high... I'm not sure how many times I can say "yo" and "fart in your general direction" on camera. Either way, we need a camcorder to catch those precious moments that are sure to come... such as baby's first booger bubble.

*There will be no baby booger bubbles if I never finish revising and mailing the four extra copies of our scrapbook. It should have been done a month ago. Yet, it's not.

*I'm rethinking this whole parenting thing. I'm thinking I'm not cut out to be a mom. I don't want to do it anymore. I'm going to be a horrible mom. Please don't tell me how great I'll be because I won't believe it. This is why the revised scrapbook is not sent. Mental block. I may never finish it.

*I bought a Beco Butterfly and I'm not sure I like it. It says it fits from 4'11", but I'm 5' and it does not fit right. Too bad. I was excited about it.

*I am now sold out of cuff bracelets at the moment. This is a good thing.

*I'm tired of my house being a torn up mess. I have a Sam's size package of toilet paper in my living room. There's just something not right about that.

*I was supposed to get a new tripod today, but UPS sucks and is running behind so it won't be here until Monday. The macro is too much for my $15 tripod and me no likey the camera shake. Me also no likey the small amount of noise I get from shooting at 800 ISO. So, I ordered a Manfrotto tripod with a ball head. It's supposedly rock solid and can support enough weight to last me through any camera upgrade I might want to throw at it.

*I'm so thankful that my second Etsy shop (jewelry supplies) is paying for my newfound photography addiction. Because it does.not.end. and it's a 'spensive addiction, yo. My shugah daddy can't buy me everything.

*Speaking of shugah daddy (gosh, I hope you all know that's a silly joke), he just got an iPhone (merry Christmas, hon) and now thinks I need one.

*It's his fault (love you, hon) that I'm now addicted to YouTube. It all started with watching phone reviews, trying to decide which cellphone to buy. I do need a new cellphone, I just do not need an iPhone. Who needs GPS when you're never far from home?

"iPhone... where is mom & dad's house?"
"Right down the road, idiot."
"Oh. Ok... where is the health food store?"
"Just a little further down the road, gosh!"

See? Who needs that? Sassy, those iPhones.

*I think he's winning, because despite the fact that I don't need GPS or an iPhone, he has somehow brainwashed me into wanting one.

*I now feel strange talking about all the expensive electronics in our lives. We've never before bought expensive electronics. This is new. In fact, before the past couple years, we've never bought expensive ANYthing. We're blessed with hubby man earning a really good salary and my business endeavors paying for my silly little hobbies right now. I know it will all end with the introduction of children (formula's 'spensive, yo). (That's the second "yo" that you would not have gotten were I video blogging.)

*I do not want to be a mom that yells. Last week I yelled at my parents' little diva dog. Does that mean I will yell at my little diva kids? I can't do this.

*I still hate the monstrous crib of hideousness, but I think I'm too tired to care.

*That's all.


Jeanie said...

You'll never be able to dial that iPhone of yours if you keep smashing all your fingers with mallets.

I'm sorry about your funk. You know where I am if you need me. XO

Heidi @ GGIP said...

Don't give into those feelings on parenting. No one is ever prepared for parenthood nor is anyone a perfect parent.

That must be fun to be able to do all that photography!

Jen said...

Ouch! sorry about your finger :(
Hmm so bruises don't come on camera well huh?
Yay to flooring project almost being done...our kitchen floor has been done for a little while we still..have yet to put the molding around back
Camcorders are nice :)
That is good your sold out of cuff bracelets, now time for more photography stuff :)
Ups can be that way lol
Hmm iphone huh lol
Just because you yelled at a dog does not mean you will yell at your future kid
okay and far as the crib...its okay..or if you really want to get rid of it sell it and then buy one you want **things will be okay funky girl*** anyways take care!

The Rock Chick said...

Well, the good thing is there's no GPS on iPhone, so you don't have to worry about that! :) I love mine...been playing with the apps and its just so much fun! Ummm, yes, you will yell at your kids at times and I know you don't want me to say it, but you will be a great mom. We all say "never" but it happens and the fact that you worry so much tells me you'll be wonderful. Sorry about your finger...hope it's better!

Crystal said...

I think they have a GPS app. I think Dustin has played with it?

Laurel Wreath said...

Crystals sweet friend CALL MY SISTER. What you are feeling is so normal, and hard and emotional. If you want I will give you her cell phone number and you can leave a message asking her to call when the kids are sleeping.

My sister is a Godly woman who has walked your walk. I sending you big hugs, don't let the up and down rollercoaster of emotions get you down. You will make a GREAT mom.


Dustin said...

iPhone has a GPS! I use it frequently :-P

It's not a garmin or tom tom and doesn't provide turn by turn directions or anything like that, but in conjuction with google maps it's pretty cool. Found my way to a couple of places that I needed to get to in the last week by using it. I think the current location function gets you within like 50 feet or so of where you are.

iPhone ROCKS

Jenny-Fair said...

I don't know everything, and I am not a perfect parent, but after sixteen years I can tell you this--the two main things you need to be a good parent are:
The willingness to do what is best for someone else even if it is not comfortable for you, and
The willingness to keep looking until you find the answers that are best for your family.

Seems to me you have those. And that first one, you just have to have the WILLINGNESS to do me, you will get plenty of practice AFTER the baby comes!

Mrs. Smith said...

I'm so sorry you are in a funk...I was in one recently, and I know it's so not fun. :(
I have to say I agree with the other gals here. You may not believe right now that you will be a great mom, but God gives us grace to do what we can't do on our own. Will you mess up? You wouldn't be human if you didn't. I have found that God is really awesome about helping me clean up any messes I've made along the way as a well as giving me the strength to clean up my kids messes too. ;-) There is a very precious and special little person that God has planned for your family. Your heart will be filled with love for that baby, you will learn as you go, do the best you can, and you will bless that child's life. You may not realize what a blessing you are, but I can tell you, I don't even know you IRL and I am very glad to have you as a daily part of my online experience! You are funny, smart, you make careful decisions, you are very artistic in many different ways...did I mention how funny you are? Cuz you seriously crack me up every time I read your blog, yo.
Anyway, I know about those yucky funks, so PM me on GCM if you ever need a chat or a prayer buddy.
Big hugs~Traci

Donna said...

Ya know...I think every sometime-to-be Mom has those "what was I thinking?? Me?? A MOM???" thoughts. And then you just become one and you just...are one. And it's all okay in the end, no matter how worried you were before hand.

Ya know what else? You might even yell at your kid(s). Even good moms aren't perfect. It's humbling and great spiritual growth to ask a 3 year old for forgiveness. Ask me how I know. Ha.

((((((((((((((Crystal)))))))))))) A hug for your funk.

Bethany said...

So sorry about your finger!!! :-( I don't have any advice in the parental arena, but I know that you WILL figure it out and be so awesome at this.