It's Gone!! (Or: Cookies can be the best therapy)

It's gone, it's gone, it's gone!! *Doing a happy dance*

IT'S GONE!!

What's gone, you ask? Oh, just the UGLIEST most ridiculous lawn decoration, ever. It wasn't mine. Oh, no. My lawn is not the nicest on the block, but I'd die before I slapped on something like that and called it pretty. It's GONE, along with the neighbors who put it there. Apparently they sold their house and the new owners aren't Martha Stewart wannabes with their freaky lawn decorations.

In fact, the new neighbors (instead of having my husband and I gossip amongst ourselves about their yard every time we went outside) left the cutest little Christmas box on our porch yesterday while I was out. The cute little box was filled with cute little Christmas cookies. I mean, is that nice or what? I didn't even know people DID that anymore. Now I must find a way to thank them. Do you thank baked goods with baked goods? I also need to thank them for removing the ridiculous lawn ornament.

I know, by now you're DYING to know what it is, but honestly I'm scared to say. What if you utilize the same technique in your lawns? I'd die of embarrassment if I ranted about what you think is just uber cool. But people, it's got to stop! In fact, this decoration disturbed me so deeply that every time I left my house I wanted to stab a fork in my eye, fall onto the ground, curl up in a fetal position and cry for a year. I think I might need therapy. Scratch that. I KNOW I need therapy. Do you see what I just wrote?

Ok, so I'll spill. The offensive "decoration" in question was this hideous terracotta pot. A huge, hideous terracotta pot.
"That's not so bad", you're thinking, "terracotta is cool and earthy".
Sure, it is. But it wasn't just any old terracotta pot. It was a HUGE, hideous terracotta pot stuck in the middle of their yard.
"Ok, that's weird, but not worthy of therapy".
Oh, but that's not all! HUGE, hideous terracotta pot stuck in the middle of their yard, tipped over onto its side. Like the great winds came through and smote it down, spilling its insipid remains onto the cold, hard ground. (Can a grassy yard in the middle of a hot, Texas summer be considered "cold, hard ground"? Well, it is in my story. Just go with it.)
"Hmmm, now it's getting interesting."
Yes, interesting is one way to put it. Ghastly is another. Repulsive yet another. Cool, fun, lovely, attractive, innovative, or creative? Not so much. It was a huge, hideous terracotta pot stuck in the middle of their yard, tipped over on its side with a tacky, spindly, unkempt... weed (because "plant" or "bush" is just too kind)... planted in front of its opening.
"What??!??!!" *You screaming in terror*

I know, I know! Horrifying picture, isn't it? I mean, who thought that was a good idea? My neighbors, apparently. But that's not all. Sometime during the course of its (thankfully) short lived appearance in our usually nice and attractive neighborhood, this... weed... and its hideous terracotta pot were damaged. As if it needed help looking shabby, the pot decided to *crack* sometime in the last year. Did they remove it, or replace it? No. Did they decide, "oh hey, I'm not Martha Stewart and this wasn't such a good idea after all!"? Of course not. They left it there. Until they sold the house.

And now we have new neighbors. SANS ugly cracked pot/shabby weed. WITH Christmas cookies. On MY porch. The world is now happy place again.

Cookies can be the best therapy...