Baby Wee for the Handy Soul

If you use Gmail, you're probably all too familiar with those "web clip" advertisement links that appear in that little line above your emails. Now usually they seem to pick up keywords from the emails themselves. Targeted advertisements? I don't know.

The other night though, I saw this headline:

"Boxer soothes fists with son's wet diapers"

I quickly became confused. Very confused. And disturbed. Bewildered, even. I must have read the line eight times before finally succumbing to the pressure and clicking on the link. I could not wrap my mind around what this could possibly mean. My first thought (now this was at 3am, mind you, and after a week of little sleep at that) was something like:

"Boxers? Why would a kid in diapers wear boxers?"

My next thought was along the lines of:

"Boxers? Why would a dog have a fist and wrap it in a diaper?"

I've never claimed to have rational thoughts, you know, and certainly not at three in the morning. So I read it. Let me be the first to tell you that it's all kinds of wrong. Never in a million years would the idea of a Ukrainian boxer using his son's bodily fluids to promote healing have crossed my mind.

What's even more wrong, however, is why Google decided to flash it in my Gmail. It's not like I spend my days writing emails on baby wee and soaked diapers. Or boxers. Or dogs, even. I'm thinking that the whole targeted marketing thing is failing a bit.

Or is it? I mean, I did click. The concept of soaking my hands in urine no matter how sore they may be, however, does not.

I think I'm finally proud to be an American again. Land of the no-hand-soaking-in-pee; home of the brave. Just not that brave.