Ding-dong

That's the sound I heard early yesterday afternoon. Someone was at my door. Who could it be?

FedEx guy, of course. What was he delivering this time?

A box from a certain home goods store which shall, yet again, remain nameless.

And what was in that box from the certain home goods store which shall yet again remain nameless?

Five of the six original items that I ordered but once yet arrived eleven times already. What else could it be? I mean, these things are obviously drawn to me as if I'm emitting bamboo/wood-like photo prop item vibes. It's only natural that this set arrive at the mother ship too. Heaven forbid they get left out.

Why five instead of six?

The tissue box cover is on back order.

What ever could have caused that? Surely not the fact that they sent their entire fleet of bamboo/wood-like photo prop tissue box covers to me already! Oh no. That can't be it.

FedEx guy must think I'm insane. Just wait until he returns later, as I'm certain he will, with the back order.

Bamboo/wood-like tissue box cover, anyone? I'm not quite sure I'm calling them again. I'm not quite sure it will even matter. I fear that for every time I contact this company, they will send me even more random items from their inventory. Maybe they're trying to unload before the end of the year for tax purposes. Maybe they want to have pieces "conveniently" go missing so they can have a big insurance claim. Maybe they think I'm cute. Maybe they read my blog and wanted some press.

Maybe I'll start randomly mailing them things. A toothbrush, perhaps. A candy wrapper. A dog. My bills. Do you think that will stop the madness? Or am I forever stuck in a groundhog-day-esque nightmare of repeat tissue box cover shipments?!

Come quickly, Lord. The world has gone mad, the home goods store that shall yet again remain nameless is composed entirely of ding-dongs, and my house simply is not that big.