Sunday, October 19, 2008

A recipe for disaster

I love recipes, but just the ones that make food. The ones that only make disaster? Not so much.

The paint in the nursery dried and I discovered I liked it on the paint card a lot more than on the walls. It has too much of a rosey hue in the background and is too light. I pretty much hate it, but now I'm stuck with it.

We put the crib together today, and the crib looks awful with the floor. Actually, I don't even like this crib without the floor. It's huge and, well, kind of ugly (to me). I don't like the color and never did, but I was being frugal and frugality doesn't always breed gorgeousness, you know? I thought I'd be okay with it, but I'm not.

After putting it together and seeing spots
that need to be touched up on the too-light-and-rosey walls (actually, I'll probably be calling the painter back to do a second coat), and seeing the monstrous crib of hideousness, I totally lost it. Cried for an hour, letting it all out at my poor, confused husband. I cried about things from 15 years ago that I didn't even know were an issue. Who knew the monstrous crib of hideousness could be therapy?

I feel like the nursery and making material preparations for this baby is the one and only thing I can control throughout the whole process... and I can't even get that part right. I just want our baby to come home to a room that's pretty. The baby won't care, but I do. I bought a crib I hate and picked a paint color that's not that great. I should have just gone with green for the walls and not looked at Craigslist. Now I'm stuck with too-light-and-rosey walls and left wondering whether or not I want to waste money for a new crib in the colors I like. So, I guess I'm materialistic. I want a nursery that looks like it's out of a magazine, not one that looks like someone threw up all over it. Blame it on society. Materialistic beasts!

I feel like a failure of a mother already.

I'm not cut out for home decorating. I'm just not. I have nice pictures in my head that I can't translate into reality. I have a nice picture of being a mom in my head as well... will I continue to fail at that too?

Don't mind me. I just hate this crib.


BeckeyZ said...

Oh ((((Crystal)))), if I lived closer I'd come over and re-paint the nursery for you. Really. I just finished the kids room in September (orange and green, they picked the colors) so I'm a painting machine lately.

You'll be a great mom, and you know what? The baby won't even care how hideous the crib is.

((((Crystal)))) more hugs - just cause I get it.

Heidi @ GGIP said...

We bought nursery furniture that I ended up not liking the crib too. We kept it and it was fine and now I don't think about it too much.

Your decorating doesn't have anything to do with what kind of mother you will be. And recognizing now that you might do some things you will regret later may help you. Because I do something every day that I could regret, but you just having to forgive yourself and keep on going.

Jen said...

((Crystal)) You are going to be a great mom!
Don't worry to much about the decorations the baby will not care and eventually the baby will grow out of the crib. And far as the pink walls can always re-paint them or just find ways to make room look better

The Rock Chick said...

Awww Crystal!!! This entire post just proves how you will succeed as a mom. You just want the best for the Dustin Jr. or L'il Crystal!

You are so talented that I KNOW you can repaint that room if you want to. Tape off the ceiling and the trim and paint. I do it all the time. In fact, once you do it, you will never want to pay a painter again. Then put that crib back on Craigslist and get one that you like. It doesn't have to be expensive, just safe. You're right, the baby won't care, but you do and that's equally important.

Stacy said...

It is interesting how one issue triggers so many other unrelated things, isn't it?
If you're calling the painter back to do another coat, can you do a coat that will darken the pink up a little bit?
As for the crib, I say if it upsets you that much and you can afford it, resell the one you bought on craigslist (or freecycle it to someone in need) and get one that will make you smile when you look at it.
((more hugs))

Anonymous said...

I vote re-finish the crib with all that free time you've got *wink*

I'm joking, Crystal. Go with your gut - if you hate it, buy a new one! (I think, though, that as soon as there's a baby lying in it, you won't much care how ugly it is!!!)

Jenny-Fair said...

Could you just sponge or rag paint over the top, or in fact, paint giant cartoon characters or trees or a beach or a rainbow...or stripes? Also, it might not look so bad when the room isn't empty anymore.

And the crib will look better dressed, as well. I actually like the sleigh-bed shape of it.

Donna said...

If you hate the paint...paint again. And go with the green you wanted.

If you hate the crib...give this one away and get a new one.

Seriously. That's my vote.

And you're going to be a great mom. I can tell already. :D

Dustin said...

We've done the painting thing ourselves...too hard on my back and too much for tiny's why we hired someone to begin with.

I personally think that the lighting is the biggest problem with the paint...I think if we got different bulbs and once she puts the other stuff up that she wants that it won't be so bad.

As far as the crib...well...we'll see what she decides :)