Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Marriage Monday: Be an encourager

Today, Christine wrote about being an encouragement to your spouse. I know I try to fulfill this part of my wifely roll, but don't always succeed to the best of my ability. When I asked my husband how I best encourage him, or what I do that means the most to him he mentioned a couple of things. One was that I make his lunches for him everyday. He's a very busy man and sometimes works crazy hours, so I choose to bless him by preparing his lunches at night before I go to bed. That way I help him save time and make sure he has the nutrition and energy he needs to make it through his long, tough days. The second thing he mentioned has to do with me. I have anxiety and phobic issues which translate into panic attacks and having a hard time doing some things that to most people are mundane and routine. So when I have good days and am able to get a lot accomplished without exhausting myself with anxiety, that not only makes me happy but makes him happy too.

Other things I can think of that I do to encourage (or serve) him:

* I make at least 80% of his meals with meat. See, I'm vegetarian and meat totally grosses me out. Buying it, preparing it, handling it, cooking it: ick, ick, ick. But my husband is a carnivore if there ever was one, so I do it for him.

* I try to only build him up and not tear him down in front of others. One of the things that downright makes me sick is to see or hear women bashing their husbands. It makes the hair on my neck stand up straight and I want to slap some sense into them. lol Now I do have a couple of close girlfriends that I am comfortable seeking help or counsel from if I need it, but I don't bash my husband in public or private to them or to anyone else.

* I try to remember to build him up in our own home as well. For example, I love telling him how handsome he is. ;o) I also like to compliment him in other things such as his work and personal accomplishments. He's very intelligent and wonderful and I make sure to add to that ego of his on a regular basis. *grin*

* I take care of most of the matters at home, like paying bills, balancing the checkbook, most of the shopping, cleaning, cooking, pet care-taking, appointment setting, etc. Sometimes on the weekends I'll ask him to help me or join me in a specific task and he's usually the vet-visit-taker, but usually I try to take care of most house "stuff" during his work week so we can have most of his weekend to relax. I know the last thing he wants to do on Saturday afternoon after a 60+ hr work week is clean out the garage or help me pick out a dog collar. ;o)

There are also several things I can definitely improve upon as well:

* Keeping the house cleaner. I'm NOT a good housekeeper. I never have been, but hopefully someday I will be. I mean I'm good at cleaning and I like a clean house, but I just hate starting it. I try to figure out a starting point and I get lost. I clean one room, and the next day the other room is a mess. It's a never ending cycle and is one of those things that overwhelms me! Sometimes he has to remind me that he's down to his last clean work shirt. *blush* I also let our bedroom get pretty messy before I straighten it up, and I know that is stressful. Room for improvement!

* I could be more understanding of his back injury. Don't get me wrong... I think I do a pretty good job here most of the time. When he drops something, I'll pick it up. When he needs something from the lower part of the fridge, I'll get up and get it for him. But I think I could improve some here for sure because sometimes I forget how bad it is because he doesn't always show it on his face and here I am sitting pain free most days.

This week's marriage Monday really made me think. Thanks, Christine! :o)

1 comment:

The Subject (Husband) said...

You know, when presented with a question like this in the middle of a busy day with no time to think or prep, one may not necessarily be able to pose an answer worthy of the person about whom the answer is. Off the cuff, I liked the answers I was able to provide for you, but I liked your answers too! Just know that you are an encouragement to me every day, even if sometimes it may not seem like I notice it. I sure am glad we chose to share our lives with each other! Love you, babe!