Monday, March 19, 2007

Marriage Monday

Christine over at her fabulous and gorgeous blog, Fruit in Season, started a new discussion on Mondays about marriage. Of course, me and my ever forgetfulness totally forgot about it until last night. I hate that I never seem to remember to visit the best blogs! But now she's in my blog roll, so it should be all good from here on out. ;o)

Today Christine reviewed the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I have not personally read this book nor have I heard Dr. Laura speak, but I have heard a lot of things about her and her book, both good and bad. I have a few friends who regularly recommend it to people. She also asked the following questions for participants (that would be meee, finally! lol) to answer:

* How do the media, friends, extended family and other outside influences affect your attitude in your marriage?

Honestly, most of the media makes me realize how good I have it. Not that I easily forget otherwise, but it makes me really realize it if that makes sense. My husband and I have had this discussion more times than I can count (it's a very vent worthy pet peeve of mine!) but the way the media portrays marital relationships and the dynamics between a husband and wife more often than not leaves me feeling sick. Take sit-coms, if you will. One we regularly enjoyed was Everybody Loves Raymond. The show is hilariously funny, but when you examine the marriages in it, it's not quite so funny anymore. You have one pair who have been married probably twice as long as I have been alive, who obviously wouldn't recognize the word respect if it bonked them over the head with a 2x4. Then you have the other couple who are a little better, at least that's what you might think, but in reality they really aren't. They are the classic overbearing, controlling wife and dumbed down husband who is only useful for bringing home the bacon (which, apparently, the wife can't cook well anyway), mowing the lawn, drinking beer, stinking up the joint and watching sports. You see this type of scenario over and over again in modern sit-com land. The part that bothers me the most is the dumb down husband roll. I can't think of many things I find more disrespectful than portraying a husband (whether he be yours or one you've made up) as incompetent. Yeah, it's funny, and yeah we enjoy those shows (Home Improvement is another one that comes to mind)... but it still bothers me and makes me grateful that I not only have a very intelligent husband, but that I also recognize it and stroke his ego build him up. ;o)

As for family and friends, I wouldn't say they influence my attitude, but rather they give me a glimpse into other real life relationships and help me to see what I may be doing as either right or wrong. I've learned both good and bad from watching other people's marriages, and that's ok to me. The good encourages me to do better, and the bad encourages me in what I'm already doing right.

* What are some resources of encouragement for you in your pursuit of godly wifehood?

Well, I already mentioned friends and family. They really are a big source of encouragement to me, especially a few people in particular. Other than that, early on in our marriage I read several good books that I found encouraging including The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian and a few by Ed Wheat, M.D. I tried to get into the Created to be His Helpmeet craze, but honestly, the author disturbs me. I'm normally pretty good at eating the chicken and spitting out the bones (despite being vegetarian - teehee - perhaps I should say eating the pistachios and spitting out the shells? *giggle*) but I couldn't finish that one. I think perhaps someday I will have to read Dr. Laura's book. I would probably enjoy it.

* Where would your husband say he falls in your list of priorities from day to day? Where on the list do you think he should be?

If the answers to the last 2 questions don't match up, how can you remedy that?We have a very straight forward and honest relationship so I asked him. Quote: "I'm up there". ;o) He says for the most part he's at the top, but not always. I want him to feel like he's always at the top and I think I do a decent job at that, but I am human and there is always room for improvement. I'm not exactly sure what I should do to remedy that. I guess that's a topic for tonight over dinner (which I will painstakingly and lovingly prepare just for him, by the way. *wink, wink*)

Happy Monday to everyone. :o)


Christine said...

Hi Crystal! Thanks for participating this week. I totally agree about sitcoms and other tv shows. That's why we don't watch TV much anymore. And I stopped reading traditional women's mags a while ago. There's just nothing encouraging in them. They just keep us on the worldly bandwagon! About Created to be his Helpmeet, I read it and liked some things about it but not all (which is the way I am with 99% of the books I read anyway!)

It's great that you have so much to encourage you! I love your design by the way, I think it's different than the last time I was here! Blessings to you and your marriage!

devildogwife said...

I agree completely with you about the media reminding me how good I have it. Now, I have to admit that I still love to watch shows like Home Improvement, but they don't set good role models for our relationships. I enjoyed reading your post.

eph2810 said...

What a wonderful reflection on Christine's topic this week :). Yes, there is always room for improvement - until death do us part :)...I know that I always can learn something new.

Blessings to you and yours.